What Have You Given Up for Marriage & Family?

27 Feb

The Choice to Marry lies in each Individual

We read that the greatest possible love is a friend who would lay down his life for another. Christ Jesus did that for each of us We also read that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, meaning, be willing to give up his life for her. We read that as wives we are to respect our husbands.

When we choose to marry, we stand in front of a roomful (most often) of people and declare that we will love, honor and cherish one another. Do we, however,  truly consider the cost of that decision? Do we weigh what we will be giving up in order to receive the marriage?

The Cost of Marriage

Yes, we do give up some things, anything worth having is worth the cost of having it. Sadly, there are many who see marriage and family as a hindrance, as a common and ordinary thing. They can’t see it as exceptional, because they choose to not see it that way. For them the cost is too high, too extreme, because they choose to hold onto the cost.

Our team mate, Shanna, recently wrote a marvelous article titled: 5 Things I Gave Up to be A Wife and Mother. In it she dispels the ugly attitude that exists in the minds of many and clearly shows that her decision was and continues to be a decision of choice. She explains her loving and willing decision to daily be a wife and mother.

5 Things I Gave Up to be A Wife and Mother

I recently came across an article with a title that immediately captured my attention. It was one of those blog posts that, once published, goes viral immediately. Unfortunately, unlike other current web successes such as open letters to daddies who are kind and understanding to other people’s children on flights, concerned mothers of sons advising teenage girls against immodest pics on social media, and husbands spreading the word that marriage is about more than “me”, this post had a decidedly more acrid tone. It was a scathing diatribe against a woman’s decision to be a wife and mother. The title, “I Look Down on Young Women with Husbands and Kids and I’m Not Sorry”, pretty much sets the hateful tone for this short but sad article. Despite my immediate guttural reaction (and against my better judgement), I continued reading said article. I would liken this decision to passing by a horrible accident that you KNOW will be gruesome but having to look anyway. Believe me; this post was WORSE than a train wreck.

After my mommy senses went into overdrive, steam flooded from every orifice of my body, and I screamed aloud, “Oh no, she didn’t!”


Shanna’s article went viral. We live in a time when many, many look down on marriage as if it’s not important. or that the choice to be a wife and mother is somehow a lesser choice. Yet, many women continue to make that choice esteeming it to be a first thing. Shanna is among them as are all of the women on the R16:16 team.

What about you, are you married? Did you choose to give up anything? Is it a work in progress? Or, are you one of those who mistakenly thinks your marriage and family are entirely about YOU? Maybe you feel that marriage and family are not worth the cost.

Then again, perhaps you have considered marriage and made the choice to not wed, seeking rather to dedicate your life in service to the Lord. There is no command to marry, but as Christians, whether we choose marriage or we choose to be single, we each have the same first priority, that of honoring God above all else.

~Article written by team member, Renee Brown.




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